10:00 PM
20 days to go and i am waiting for a sign. still. i know what it is, in all its specificity.it cannot be misread or misinterpreted. it cannot be taken halfway either. i cannot divulge what it is because that would be cheating and i don't want to cheat on this one.
i don't know what i'll do though if i don't get it.that makes me sad. :(
Labels: sad princess, signs
sam
12:41 AM
it must be said that having my boyfriend here is bliss. it feels good to validate something that was only once in your head with a good dose of reality-not memory, nor theory but 5-senses-reality! but while the obvious (kissing, hugging, blah) is a giddy sort of happiness, what really makes me over the moon is how "normal" this relationship feels and all the "normal" things that go with it.
i love the fact that i can text "be there in a minute" and actually mean it. i love the fact that we plan out what restaurant to try next and have real arguments about what to order. i am delirious with the idea that i can scrunch my nose if i don't like what he's wearing and insist to wear the other shirt. even the sometimes annoying chore of spending time with his relatives and friends that i may not be very fond of is great because it means that he is actually here that i can actually meet his friends. worrying about stinky breath was never a problem with skype, but having to remember to keep my breath minty fresh at all times is a blessing.
it may sound crazy, or something out of backwards day even, but from my experience, being in an ldr is so intense that normal is thrown out the window. emotions skyrocket. declarations of love are so grand. each day is either the highest of highs or the lowest of lows. there is an unsaid amount of pressure brought about by the distance that magnifies feelings and makes everything seem so passion filled. honestly, it all gets very tiring sometimes.
so while the boyfriend is here, i relish every bit of normalcy that we can both muster. this is our reprieve from the constant pull of intense feelings and whatnot that is the daily goodness of an ldr.
this is a weird connection, but i must end this babble by saying that goldilocks really was a very smart girl. sometimes, things really are too hard, or too soft, too hot or too cold, too sweet or too sour. nothing beats just right, just normal, but oh so very right!
Labels: baby, boyfriends and girlfriends, ldr, talking to myself
sam