my turn...

7:39 PM

i've been keeping mums about this for about a month now, because i wanted the folks to know about it first before the rest of the world. But since the bf has talked to the folks, then i figured that it was time to start telling my friends too!

...im engaged! it happened just as this picture was taken! and im happy! i love life!

Labels: baby, in love princess, news

sam

3

12:56 PM

... I love you! It's been a rough couple of weeks, but i'm we worked (and are working) it out!

even if it hasn't always been a smooth ride, i'm blessed to have shared 3 with you.
thank you baby for you! mwaahhh! to many many many more chapters.. i love you!

Labels: 3, baby, love

sam

Back

1:30 PM

I'm back..but i dont really wanna be. I want to go back. I miss Sydney so bad. I love the weather (despite it being cold), I love the lifestyle,the food, and the people- especially the people! And especially one person who's there.

I enjoyed meeting all of Jason's friends. It seemed like we made one hell of a benetton ad! Everyone in Australia came in all shapes and sizes, so you never really felt alone and isolated. I liked that a lot.

I like the pulse of the city. I felt more alive there than I did in other places. I imagined myself not coming back and making a life for myself there. Is it wrong to dream of an apartment or a teeny flat, and fantasize of a weekend spot beside the beach?

It's weird because it's not my home but i'm sooo homesick for Sydney! I wanna go home :(

Labels: baby, sad princess, sydney, travel

sam

Oz so far...

11:00 PM

I surfed today which has been like my ultimate dream ever since seeing blue crush and getting bombarded with all those nonchalantly fun and sexy roxy ads..and then I lay out..in the cold but still gorgeous Gong beach! It's literally a 1 minute drive from Jace's house here! I love Oz! I don't want to go home!!!!

And I went around the city too and did the usual touristy things! Oz is loooveeee!

Labels: baby, love, oz, sydney, travel, vacation

sam

All Systems Goooooo

9:16 AM

It's confirmed, I'm leaving for Oz on Friday! Yayyyyyyy!!!

But before I get to do that, it seems like there's a million and one things that I have to do! It's probably the first time that i've "traveled" as an adult meaning, taking care of everything- from the funds, to the visa processing, ticket reservations blah blah bkah.. I'll tell you one thing, it's exhausting!! But I'm excited nonetheless!

No rest for the weary cos I'm going to Oz on Friday! Yayyyyyy

Labels: Australia, baby, growing up, oz, travel

sam

On my way..I Hope

10:10 AM

My Visa application's been passed! I'm crossing my fingers! The suspense is killing meeee! I wanna go to Oz Noooowwwwww!!!!

Labels: baby, oz, visa

sam

normal

12:41 AM

it must be said that having my boyfriend here is bliss. it feels good to validate something that was only once in your head with a good dose of reality-not memory, nor theory but 5-senses-reality! but while the obvious (kissing, hugging, blah) is a giddy sort of happiness, what really makes me over the moon is how "normal" this relationship feels and all the "normal" things that go with it.

i love the fact that i can text "be there in a minute" and actually mean it. i love the fact that we plan out what restaurant to try next and have real arguments about what to order. i am delirious with the idea that i can scrunch my nose if i don't like what he's wearing and insist to wear the other shirt. even the sometimes annoying chore of spending time with his relatives and friends that i may not be very fond of is great because it means that he is actually here that i can actually meet his friends. worrying about stinky breath was never a problem with skype, but having to remember to keep my breath minty fresh at all times is a blessing.

it may sound crazy, or something out of backwards day even, but from my experience, being in an ldr is so intense that normal is thrown out the window. emotions skyrocket. declarations of love are so grand. each day is either the highest of highs or the lowest of lows. there is an unsaid amount of pressure brought about by the distance that magnifies feelings and makes everything seem so passion filled. honestly, it all gets very tiring sometimes.

so while the boyfriend is here, i relish every bit of normalcy that we can both muster. this is our reprieve from the constant pull of intense feelings and whatnot that is the daily goodness of an ldr.

this is a weird connection, but i must end this babble by saying that goldilocks really was a very smart girl. sometimes, things really are too hard, or too soft, too hot or too cold, too sweet or too sour. nothing beats just right, just normal, but oh so very right!

Labels: baby, boyfriends and girlfriends, ldr, talking to myself

sam

a public service announcement :p

10:40 PM

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! i can officially say that in a few hours, i will really have a living, breathing, real life boyfriend to call my very own. someone to hug and kiss and hold hands and cuddle and do all the mushy stuff with!

its about time! 6 months is a damn long time to wait.

also, to anyone who cares, posts may be few and far between as "the happy, reunited couple" may be busy gallivanting around town and getting into all sorts of adventures and misadventures. please excuse me :)



aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh..deep breaths! im soooo excited :D xoxoxoxox

Labels: baby, boyfriends and girlfriends, happy princess

sam

ali na.

10:06 AM

i miss you baby.so much that i literally felt my heart break last night.please come na.:(

Labels: baby, ldr, sad princess

sam

Confession time

3:45 AM

i'm guilty and it's time i confess. i'm jealous of my friend. while im soo ecstatic that she's found a new hand to hold, and someone to get kilig over (i don't really know if she really is kilig- to be honest), i'm jealous too. i want my own hand holding partner, and someone physically present to catch me from my dramatic swoon because he said the most swoon worthy line (i will leave you to imagine what that line is to you lest i make you gag). i want the physical contact, the physical nauseauting mushiness. i want. i want. i want. i want a date to this ball thing (if i end up going! and if friend will have a date, and i undoubtedly think she will, i want them to have a great mushy time without the annoying third wheeler a.k.a MEEEE). i want it to be fun prom night.sigh sigh. i want my baby here.i want my someone to be here with me too.:(... and if that makes me the green eyed monster then i'm guilty as charged. i confess.

Labels: baby, friendship, jealous princess, missing

sam

sad secrets

9:57 AM

i am in love with post secret. that has never ever been a secret in itself. in fact, it has become tradition for my boyfriend and i to put away some "us" time every monday night to see all the new secrets posted up. we dissect each secret as best we can, and try to figure out the people who live behind them. every once in a while, i come across secrets that break my heart. here are two:

"The only man i have ever loved was a guest at my wedding."

"I'm 25 and I've never been kissed. It's not that I don't want to...it's just that no one else does."


I hope to God I never end up with secrets like these. And i send out prayers to those who do...

Labels: baby, boyfriends and girlfriends, postsecret, sad princess, secrets, thoughtful princess

sam

God signs

7:25 PM

Last night, after a sad conversation, I set my mind to break up with my boyfriend. Since he was sleeping, I decided to let him know in the morning. BUT then i thought and thought, and bounced back and forth, and then decided to let God decide. So i prayed, or rather asked for a sign. I said, "Please God, if i am meant to be with him, you will make him wear a white shirt tomorrow"

Why white you ask? No, i wasn't trying to take the easy way out. My boyfriend isn't really a typical boy when it comes to dressing. He does not have that classic no-fuss white shirt that all boys seem to have (well if he does I've never seen it). The wifebeaters that he wears around the house range from navy blue to black. I've given him white shirts before, as have my sisters, but he only seemed to don them to seem appreciative and so that we could see them, after that rarely have i seen him wear those again.


I woke up today to muffled sounds of a skype call. It was him, panicked if I had decided during the night to cut all ties. I turned on my video and he turned on his- WHITE. WHITE. The boy was wearing a white shirt, one with thin red stripes but still- WHITE.


I was not being very specific to God. I didn't really say a pure white shirt but just mentioned white. Majority of the relationship saving shirt is white. I guess this is a sign huh? God has a sense of humor too.


Oh, a minute later,I got a skype message, that sounded like a breakthrough and a possible solution to the sad conversation that Jason and I had the night before. God again? Hmmmmm..


And so, Jason and I are still together. Thanks God. I know I owe you more than one!


****


In other news, I'm sick! WAAAAHHHHH. If its not too much to ask the big guy up there... :D

Labels: baby, boyfriends and girlfriends, God, hmmm, jason, relationships, signs, thankful princess, white

sam

aren't stalkers creepy?

10:22 PM

so here we are, my boyfriend jason and i, enjoying a good day post fight, when suddenly
we come into discussion about adding his crazy ex( he said it, not me) on facebook. i am all for it-being the bigger person and all. he vehemently refuses- saying she's crazy and all. since its post fight, i get my way and add her up- again for bigger person sake, and the next thing that transpired was the freakiest/ most hilarious/ weirdest/ pathetic thing ever ! (depends on how you look at it i guess). i am documenting it for the fond memories and also in the event that if something mysteriously happens to jason, the world (at least the part of the world who reads my blog) can point their finger on a possible suspect.(maybe im the one who is

the next things i will post are the facebook wall comments that transpired between jason (my boyfriend) and amanda bottomley (the ex)

i would like to hear your thoughts on it. anyway, here goes nothing:

(23:25:54) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 7:18pmhello stranger! go into hiding did we? =P
(23:26:00) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 8:21pmYes i did...
(23:26:04) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 8:26pmawwww..why? you were fun when you werent a hermit!
so...gimme a little life story since the last time i saw you
(23:26:09) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 8:52pmI havn't been hiding, I have been working, uni and going overseas to the Philippines to see
my gf.
(23:26:14) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 9:15pmthat doesnt sound like much to have done in 2 years!
(23:26:19) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 9:42pmHuh?! I'm sorry, I didnt know I was required to report every single details that transpired in
my life in the past 2 year. I guess I've been too busy actually living life to report about it... My bad...
(23:26:25) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 9:46pmhad a bad day did we jase?
fine...go on not talking to me if you really want, see if i care =P
(23:26:29) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 9:50pmYeah... up until around 5:18pm...
(23:26:34) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 9:52pmit just went down hill from then... i wonder what happened?
(23:26:43) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 9:53pmhug?
(23:26:48) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 10:00pmcan i take a reincheck?
(23:26:53) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 10:07pmthat bad hey =( sorry to hear it
keep it for later, you can get more whenever you want..they're fun to give out
(23:26:58) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 10:10pmno, its ok, i get all that i need from my gf thanks :D
(23:27:03) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 10:17pmtrue..they're good for that =P
but so are friends (and exes that you dont hate)
(23:27:09) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 10:28pmyeah, you're right! you said it, not me­ "exes you don't hate" :D
(23:27:14) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 10:32pmyou hate me now?
(23:27:21) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 10:32pmi guess that'd explain why i never heard a word from you after we broke up...thanks for
explaining it..
(23:27:26) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 10:35pmhate is such a strong and hurtful word. i just repeated what you said! :D
(23:27:31) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 10:36pmso what then?
(23:27:36) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 10:38pmall this hostility and anger! i thought facebook was an avenue for friends :D
(23:27:41) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 10:40pmlol you know i dont get angry easily! maybe a tiny bit defensive at times...and its hard to
know exactly what people are thinking/feeling online
(23:27:47) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 10:40pmand isnt it funny how this' the ONLY avenue you've actually talked to me on in 2 yrs
(23:27:51) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 10:44pmmm funny? i dont think funny is the operative word. anyone looking at the amount of wall
posts might have better insights as to why communication between us dropped out...:D
(23:27:56) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 10:50pmthat's ok! you'll catch up sooner or later, it'll be enlightening! i promise!
(23:28:02) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 11:03pmlol dude, i've been wondering why the communcation dropped just after since we actually
broke up! then again, i can't say i do remember much about the end of the fling
(23:28:10) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 11:09pm thats ok! the two of us don't really have to go through that EXHAUSTING chore of
reminiscing and remembering. best of luck :)
(23:28:16) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 11:18pmso if the relationship didnt work the communication can never work..right­o jase
well i hope you're not as shitty as you were before. enjoy missing your girl. have a fun life.
(23:28:21) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 11:25pmI am having the funnest life! .. but then again, probably you would have known that by now
;) whoops! did I? little ole me slip out that you might have been stalking me? sorry... have a fun life
too! :D
(23:32:19) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Manda Bottomley (Australia) wrote
at 11:30pmi haven't, but you know i could quite easily.
(23:34:17) neurologik ­ Finding Forever: Jason Lagaac (no network) wrote
at 11:34pmYay! a direct quote as evidence in case I want to file a restraining order?! :D


.....hmmm sneaky stalker deleted the rest from her wall, but thats not all. here's the personal messages that went on too. (oooohhh)


manda to jason message 1: we didnt end on such a horrible note...why be such a bitch to me now?

jason's reply to manda 1:look, i have moved on and suddenly you try and come barging into my life in the rudest way possible. how do you expect me to react to emails about stalking threats?! has it occurred to you that I just wanted to be left alone? I've moved on and I hope you have too, why do you need a detail description about my life? Do you wanna make a comparison? You said it yourself that I was shitty. Now I dont think you need more shitty people in your life... isnt it just common sense?

I add you ontofacebook and I tried to be the bigger person and just accept it, andthen you attack my public wall? you expect me just to sit here and donothing?! give me a break...

manda's reply back: wow! dude!!
iadded you mainly just caus i wanted to say hi! i was bored, saw yourname and decided to add you. i was just interested in how you've beenand what you've been up to.
stalking? yeah..right! why on earthwould i even bother? you've obviously completely forgotten what i'mlike it you seriously think i would even consider ACTUALLY stalkinganyone..let alone you.

yes, i've moved on, but that doesnt stopme from wanting to say hi to some people from my past. i mustn't haveseen your attempts to say "manda..get lost" but thanks a lot for theblatant exclamation! i dont have anything against you, but apparentlythe feeling's not mutual..no one told me that before, but you didnthave to attack me!
if you really want, we can delete those posts and just go back to eachother's pasts.
10:42 PM
just in future, try not to take things out so much on people youhavent talked to in a while! they generally dont know what's happeningand dont expect things like this.

bye

jason's final reply: yeah, ok. so that explains all the weird emails and the rudeness on facebook. got it, thanks. bye.


-that's all i got (for now) sorry for the long rambling post, but it needed to be said. and before i go, can i just say: AREN'T STALKERS THE CREEPIEST???!!! Thoughts?

Labels: baby, creepy, jason, longest post ever, stalker

sam

my absolutest favorite song in the whole wide world

12:53 PM

Labels: baby, favorite, heart, in love princess, liz phair, song

sam

good luck to me and my baby

10:46 AM

I joined a contest. I hope I'm one of those who wins. Please God. Also, my baby has a test in a bit. I hope he does well. Please God. Please please God. Good luck to us...i'm crossing my fingers!

Labels: baby, crossing my fingers, good luck, please God, praying princess

sam

the bigger person...and shopper :)

7:20 PM

last night jason said, "someone has to be the bigger person". i fell asleep thinking about those words and woke up today thinking "yeah. i can do that.be the bigger person" so i did. well i hope what i did was bigger-personish. i wrote * a letter of sorts, sort of explaining my sudden disappearance from the universe. i was upfront, honest, direct, sincere and hopefully very bigger-personish. it felt good.no, it felt really really really good (insert huge smile here). i felt like a really good pedicurist cut away that annoying ingrown nail that just sits there, slightly annoying the hell out of me. i don't know what will happen next but i am content with what action i took. content and happy. again words of wisdom from my baby- "that's the reaction you need to get after writing an honest letter." so smart this baby, isn't this bigger person so lucky?! :p

after that, i went to sm with my sisters and dropped by sepa. i'd been itching to go for about a week now. we found some gorgeous vintage inspried necklaces. and that was when it happened. the bigger person morphed into the bigger shopper..and bought herself a fab necklace. (maybe as a self pat on the back for being the bigger person hehe :p)

and so after that, the self proclaimed bigger person went home, very happy and very content, albeit with a much much smaller wallet.

Labels: baby, bigger person, happy, happy princess, jason, necklace, sepa, shopping, shopping princess, thinking princess

sam

aaahhhhhhhhh I NEED THIS AGAIN!!!!! I want to be bantayan by my baby in Bantayan! NOW!!!!!

8:53 PM

I WAANNNNNNTTTTTTT! AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN BUT WITH MY BABY NA! I NEED SOMEONE TO BANTAY ME IN BANTAYAN. AND NAA SAD KOY BANTAYAN SA BANTAYAN :P

Labels: baby, bantayan, mushy princess, wahhhh

sam

608 days

8:24 AM

To be more specific and I quote <3baby on this, "it really is 608 days of being together, or 21 months!". 608 days of togetherness is a momentous occasion right? So we made plans- plans of having a simple dinner of pasta and maybe a little something sweet after. We both rushed home from school/work. We both forgot the tomatoes:P (how creepy was that?!). We both cooked and then sat down to eat- but no, not in a table with flowers, place settings and candles- but in in front of the computer table. Why, you ask?! Because we are currently 8,000 heartbreaking miles apart and the only way we can see and talk to each other is via skype and webcam.<3baby is in danged down under and I am here. Does it suck?Here is my answer: There are times when I cannot help but sob and hate skype with a passion. There are times when I've gotten so sick of it that I want to do nothing more than just hurl my computer across the room (as if I have the strength/guts to actually do it dba? :P)But I cannot help but be grateful too-when I see my <3baby's smile, or witness how tight he hugs sampillow, or hear his everyday funny stories, or the hopeful way he blabbers on about his dreams for our future. I laugh and semi-melt slash want to cover my ears when he belts out those cheesy love songs that he dedicates for me (last night was no exception), but anyway...

So we ate, and unburdened each other with stories of how our day went. And we laughed, and cried. And argued a little, and then made up. 608 days more or less like this. And 608 days i wouldn't have spent with anyone else. I love you <3baby. Happy 21st!

Digressing: Some news made me sad yesterday. A good office friend F, sort of announced that he and the gf had gone splitsville. The gf is in Spain with their son, and the split would mean that little F would never be back here again. F would have to go to Spain to see him. I miss little F already and I want him baaaaacccckkkkk. Sigh. Are all ldrs bound for failure? They have a son and they didn't want to work it out? What are my chances then? Sigh. These thoughts are making me depressed...Feel better F. Good thoughts and karma for you and little F.

Labels: 21, 608 days, baby, ldr

sam