i don't know if i should say something

4:37 PM

...but its going to be n my mind anyway so i will.


i really don't like people who are pretentious. or people who are not real. i know it sounds cliche but i really really don't. pretending exhausts me, so i don't really make an effort to hang out with people for appearances sake you know. i've always been like that, so i've always just had a few really close friends, but i love the fact that it doesn't matter if i am in my yuckiest duster or in my prettiest gown, these friends will always see me the same way. how they look at me will not change based on the kind of bag that i bring, the car that i drive, the people that i hang out with.

walking around with someone with a pretty face has opened my eyes to how so many people really are. i don't want to sound condescending at all but this is something that i just need to let out. if i am offending anyone, i apologize. if you are with someone who is pretty or popular or cool,"mura bitw ka ug madala sa kahig". suddenly, people who used to ignore you say hello, you get offered free drinks, you become "friends" with all these new people who really want to be friends with that pretty face.

why? i don't know either. so they can be cool? or part of the in crowd? so they too will be noticed because of the pretty face they were with? so they can say that they too are friends with this guy or girl? ambot.

it makes me kind of sad actually.are people here that
shallow? is it just in the philippines? i was talking to my boyfriend about it and we both came to the conclusion that if we ended up together and had kids, we both would want to raise them in a place where people are valued for their individuality, where there is not much emphasis of pretty or popular. but the question is where??? i used to think people were ok here but i am having second thoughts now. hmmm maybe europe? or australia? people seem to be fine doing their own thing there.sigh. also, i wonder if these "lucky ones"- you know, the ones blessed with the beauty or that cool factor- see through all these people. do they know that people want to be friends because of the way they look? i wonder how it makes them feel?

i really just had to let this out. again, i don't mean to offend anyone.just thinking out loud i guess :(

Labels: deep princess, honestly, pretty, thinking aloud, thinking princess, thoughts

sam

what happens when

6:01 PM

...you don't like your boyfriend's friend? when your boyfriend doesn't like your friends? when your friends don't like your boyfriend? or when your friend's boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't like you?


what happens then?
who takes top billing?


is it you? or the boyfriend? or the friend? what about if the friend came before you, the girlfriend? who gives way? what happens then?


are older friends supposed to come before significant others? whats the hierarchy supposed to be like?


and what about friends were used to be in the picture, then left the picture and are just re-entering the picture again. what category do they fall under?


ayayay. so many questions. i need enlightenment. seasoned pros, help!

Labels: boyfriends and girlfriends, relationships, thinking aloud, thinking princess, thoughts

sam

the bigger person...and shopper :)

7:20 PM

last night jason said, "someone has to be the bigger person". i fell asleep thinking about those words and woke up today thinking "yeah. i can do that.be the bigger person" so i did. well i hope what i did was bigger-personish. i wrote * a letter of sorts, sort of explaining my sudden disappearance from the universe. i was upfront, honest, direct, sincere and hopefully very bigger-personish. it felt good.no, it felt really really really good (insert huge smile here). i felt like a really good pedicurist cut away that annoying ingrown nail that just sits there, slightly annoying the hell out of me. i don't know what will happen next but i am content with what action i took. content and happy. again words of wisdom from my baby- "that's the reaction you need to get after writing an honest letter." so smart this baby, isn't this bigger person so lucky?! :p

after that, i went to sm with my sisters and dropped by sepa. i'd been itching to go for about a week now. we found some gorgeous vintage inspried necklaces. and that was when it happened. the bigger person morphed into the bigger shopper..and bought herself a fab necklace. (maybe as a self pat on the back for being the bigger person hehe :p)

and so after that, the self proclaimed bigger person went home, very happy and very content, albeit with a much much smaller wallet.

Labels: baby, bigger person, happy, happy princess, jason, necklace, sepa, shopping, shopping princess, thinking princess

sam

breaking free of old chains and staying in some

5:46 PM

i've just come from my exit interview. i feel exhilarated, wonderful and alive. i am starting to break free of old chains that have made me look at my life and ask if this is really it. it feels like a tangible confirmation of what lies ahead for me. that something better lies ahead for me, waiting for me to devour and experience with all of my senses. i cannot wait for that rush of something new, something exciting, something that will fit me better that the present mold that i am in. something that will perhaps be the mold that i will want to stay in.

however, there are some chains that i am glad to be in. there are moments, as there are for anyone, when you feel the urge to break free of these too- when one is just tired,or frustrated or oh-so-very over it. but then one realizes, these chains mold you, they hold on to you and strengthen you, they steady you, and that you love them and they are there not only to weigh you down but to ground you. my <3baby, my family and friends like kate and mark are amongst these chains. with them, i am glad to be always tied up.

whoa.did the vainbrattyprincess just think?!:p

Labels: chains, samthoughts, smart princess, thinking princess

sam