i don't know if i should say something

4:37 PM

...but its going to be n my mind anyway so i will.


i really don't like people who are pretentious. or people who are not real. i know it sounds cliche but i really really don't. pretending exhausts me, so i don't really make an effort to hang out with people for appearances sake you know. i've always been like that, so i've always just had a few really close friends, but i love the fact that it doesn't matter if i am in my yuckiest duster or in my prettiest gown, these friends will always see me the same way. how they look at me will not change based on the kind of bag that i bring, the car that i drive, the people that i hang out with.

walking around with someone with a pretty face has opened my eyes to how so many people really are. i don't want to sound condescending at all but this is something that i just need to let out. if i am offending anyone, i apologize. if you are with someone who is pretty or popular or cool,"mura bitw ka ug madala sa kahig". suddenly, people who used to ignore you say hello, you get offered free drinks, you become "friends" with all these new people who really want to be friends with that pretty face.

why? i don't know either. so they can be cool? or part of the in crowd? so they too will be noticed because of the pretty face they were with? so they can say that they too are friends with this guy or girl? ambot.

it makes me kind of sad actually.are people here that
shallow? is it just in the philippines? i was talking to my boyfriend about it and we both came to the conclusion that if we ended up together and had kids, we both would want to raise them in a place where people are valued for their individuality, where there is not much emphasis of pretty or popular. but the question is where??? i used to think people were ok here but i am having second thoughts now. hmmm maybe europe? or australia? people seem to be fine doing their own thing there.sigh. also, i wonder if these "lucky ones"- you know, the ones blessed with the beauty or that cool factor- see through all these people. do they know that people want to be friends because of the way they look? i wonder how it makes them feel?

i really just had to let this out. again, i don't mean to offend anyone.just thinking out loud i guess :(

Labels: deep princess, honestly, pretty, thinking aloud, thinking princess, thoughts

sam

i hate to say it but...i'm getting old

11:03 AM

ever since my 23rd birthday, i've been hit with this constant gnawing feeling in my stomach that i am indeed getting old. i'm in my mid mid-twenties (does that make sense?) and i'm not really sure if i've accomplished anything significant and yet the clock continues to tick. and why do i especially feel the clock ticking, one may ask? its because of the following things i've noticed as of late:

1. on the day i turned 23, i started using olay total effects- the one that fights the seven signs of aging- and its actually worked! no this is not necessarily a good thing as it points out that i've had wrinkles and whatnot to actually correct -Old signs!

2. i've tried in vain to go to clubs like vudu to dance and party the night away but find myself stifling yawns instead.

3.i have arthritis!!!i can actually feel if its going to rain or not because of my aching left leg and sometimes right arm!

4.nights meant for going "club-out" are converted into nights of eating, coffee and long deep conversations (right cy? hehe)

5.its fun to stay home

6.a piso is still a piso and i actually feel the pinch even when i buy something as cheap as say 64 pesos. money doesn't grow on trees.

7.being a bum has somewhat lost its allure and having means to support oneself and be independent from the parentals seems more exciting.

8.the talk of marriage and kids is touched on more and more and it has steered away from being fantasy weddings and perfect kids but more into good solid marriages and raising good kids who will later become good people.

9.the notion of compromise is actually in my mind now and surprisingly, i am willing to engage in it at times (very rare times, but hey that's a start)

10.saturday mornings like these aren't spent sleeping in (as much) but contemplating the meaning of life and relationships, still checking up on work and figuring out how to get more moolah :p

geez, that's old. haha. thoughts?

Labels: deep princess, old, old princess, thoughtful princess, thoughts

sam