1:25 PM
what is it with me, that every so often i find myself stuck in a rut? i feel lethargic, bored with what i currently have and yet too lazy to muster up the strength to move. i've even stopped work for a bit, not even bothering to put up new pictures of dressies.i haven't been updating this blog as much too. these days i'm happiest being at home, lounging around, watching old movies,downloading new series, rereading my sister's old gossip girl books (yes, I confess. I LOVE THEM!), and of course perusing the internet.ahhh..the internet, what's a girl to do without it? my days while away switching between all the gossip sites to all sorts of blogs (my friends (please update for my sake:p), fashion blogs and even design ones). I am constantly on the lookout for new ones to stalk and dissect. The times not devoted to these are dedicated to good old ebay,where anything and everything can be found-and this ultimately leads to my growing list of "must-haves" and "needs"- as my boyfriend says "we all have needs, and shopping is mine!":p
and so without further ado, here are my latest "needs":
1. a lomo camera preferably a holga. (don't you just adore lomo photography? i am especially loco over the fish eye effect and the four lenses. there's something about the organic way the pictures come out that's so moving, unpredictable and just plain creative)
2.either a chanel bag and/or a goyard (aaahhhh..will this love/hate relationship between bags ang girls ever end? this one particularly takes me on an emotional rollercoaster (happy on the low starting bids, sad when it eventually gets higher and higher and i lose it to some unknown lucky bastard (hmmmm..anger issues surfacing:P))
3. lace underwear and lingerie. i'm channeling dita in my head when i imagine these pieces and i am, for the moment, ready to kill for a set by either agent provocateur, la perla or those lacy ones from good old reliable victoria's secret.
4.gray slouchy flat boots (again, another never ending obsession of mine). i honestly don't know where i'll be wearing them know, because the last time i checked, the philippines doesn't have fall/winter season just yet.
5. this is just in: coconut shampoo (preferably kiehl's). i was reading GG and it mentioned Kiehl's coconut shampoo and it just sounded sooo appealing and sexy. (i hope i can find this at the local grocery though)
6.Chocolate shampoo- the idea of chocolate without the calories is verrrryy inviting to this bored girl, and besides the search for coconut shampoo introduced me to this yummy alternative.
7.more gossip girl books- i've read all of the ones in the house and i am still hungry for more, so sue me!
for the love of God, i hope that I get out of this rut soon. This "stuck in a rut" state is depleting my (not to mention my boyfriend's) wallet. aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh...
p.s donations in cash or kind are highly welcome :p
Labels: bored, ebay, i want, shopping, stuck
sam
8:08 PM
although i am 2-3 years shy of being a quarter of a century old, i really feel that lately i have been going through a quarter-life crisis, if such a thing is scientifically and/or truly plausible. the last 3 weeks have been spent in deep exploration in the quality of friendships that i have made and the quality of life that i am living.
i think of my good friend (good friends don't have to be years old) kate when i reflect and come to the conclusion that as you go through life, you truly truly realize who your true friends are-as cliche as that sounds. your so called numerous friends dwindle down and one considers herself lucky if the ones that have stuck around can be counted with one hand.
i've also had those moments when i couldn't help but ask myself if this is really it. is this really my life? is this all? what about the great things that i dreamed of doing? arrggghhh so many questions.yup, classic case of quarter life syndrome i think!
others days i wake up with one ambition after the other. i wanted to go back to medicine on monday.try law last wednesday, and tonight at dinner mentioned to my dad that i am interested in taking a fashion merchandising course in new york. a trip to paseo opens my mind to the yearning of opening a stall to sell my wares there and thursday and friday were committed to thinking up names for my beloved fantasy shop. oh lest i forget, the idea of teaching koreans english has been toyed with over the week as well. sigh. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEEEE?????
the one thing that i am hapy and stable about is my relationship with my baby. i hope i don't jinx it when i say that it has been smooth sailing and the horizon seems clear as we sail into our second year anniversary. i am fortunate ( i know that now more than ever) that i have a boyfriend who listens to me patiently as i babble on (although i am not sure if he is secretly planning out the most efficient way to tape my mouth shut or perhaps the most discreet way of putting in ear plugs. hehe) about my dreams, gossip, useless chatter, and whatnot. i know i should just leave it at that right? one shouldn't fix what isn't broken, but then evil psycho vain bratty princess comes out and i wonder if i am heading to the path of the individual who only defines himself through his relationship with his significant other. aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i don't want to be on that path. those are the kind of women (in my opinion) whose husbands, after so and so supposedly good years of marriage, suddenly pack up and leave them. NOOOOOOOO!!!
so again, i have to implore and ask. what the hell is wrong with me? am i a classic case of a quarter life syndromey patient or am i just bored and need to get out? in need of good kissing perhaps? or a good old fashioned date or gossip session? i don't now!!!!somebody help me please!:p
Labels: aahhhhhh, bored, crazy princess, help, quarter-life crisis
sam