cuckoo

3:50 PM

in the mornings, i am some semblance of normal. i wake up and i function. but at night, (these past nights anyway), i can't help but cry and sob and wail. i cry for reasons that i know of and reasons that i do not know of yet. i just cry.

and then i sleep.
and then it starts all over again.

i have officially gone mad.

Labels: crazy princess, cuckoo

sam

a reminder to myself

9:16 PM

Thinking of dog names has forced my mind into overdrive. And although I've come to be very happy with the names that we settled on for the puppies ( Hershey, Lucky and Cocoa Chanel), my now name-awakened mind is refusing to rest and has resorted to thinking of cute names- cute human names. Hold your horses- having babies is not part of the immediate plan-yet but i think there really is no harm in being all girl-scout and ready (Also I'm scared that hours of excruciating labor will leave me exhausted and just plain cranky and my kids will end up with totally forgettable names like..*^&%&..let's not mention any lest we offend any..hehe :p)! And so everyone who reads this shall be my witnesses..please please please in the event that i have children, please remind me that I've picked out these names already so they can be put to good use and this post as well as the amount of time spent thinking beforehand is also not put to waste :) Here goes my list (With proper heading of course)

Pretty names for kids in the event that i end up with J.
-Second names not completely thought of yet
-names ma be combined with each other to make up first and second name

Annika James
Aidan Skye
Jiro something or something Jiro (maybe Benjamin..Ben for my dad)
Jordan something or vice-versa
Sophia Anouk
Anoushka
Taylor
Annielle


I've forgotten the rest.:p I know. I know. This is a cuckoo post and has to stop. And so it stops now. :)


P.S. One more thing: If i get a gold lab puppy, I wanna name him kernel (because corn kernels are gold!) heheh or Tink because Tinkerbell has gold hair! :)

Labels: crazy princess, cuckoo, jason, kids, names, reminder

sam

quarter-life crisis (i think) among other things...

8:08 PM

although i am 2-3 years shy of being a quarter of a century old, i really feel that lately i have been going through a quarter-life crisis, if such a thing is scientifically and/or truly plausible. the last 3 weeks have been spent in deep exploration in the quality of friendships that i have made and the quality of life that i am living.

i think of my good friend (good friends don't have to be years old) kate when i reflect and come to the conclusion that as you go through life, you truly truly realize who your true friends are-as cliche as that sounds. your so called numerous friends dwindle down and one considers herself lucky if the ones that have stuck around can be counted with one hand.

i've also had those moments when i couldn't help but ask myself if this is really it. is this really my life? is this all? what about the great things that i dreamed of doing? arrggghhh so many questions.yup, classic case of quarter life syndrome i think!

others days i wake up with one ambition after the other. i wanted to go back to medicine on monday.try law last wednesday, and tonight at dinner mentioned to my dad that i am interested in taking a fashion merchandising course in new york. a trip to paseo opens my mind to the yearning of opening a stall to sell my wares there and thursday and friday were committed to thinking up names for my beloved fantasy shop. oh lest i forget, the idea of teaching koreans english has been toyed with over the week as well. sigh. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEEEE?????

the one thing that i am hapy and stable about is my relationship with my baby. i hope i don't jinx it when i say that it has been smooth sailing and the horizon seems clear as we sail into our second year anniversary. i am fortunate ( i know that now more than ever) that i have a boyfriend who listens to me patiently as i babble on (although i am not sure if he is secretly planning out the most efficient way to tape my mouth shut or perhaps the most discreet way of putting in ear plugs. hehe) about my dreams, gossip, useless chatter, and whatnot. i know i should just leave it at that right? one shouldn't fix what isn't broken, but then evil psycho vain bratty princess comes out and i wonder if i am heading to the path of the individual who only defines himself through his relationship with his significant other. aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i don't want to be on that path. those are the kind of women (in my opinion) whose husbands, after so and so supposedly good years of marriage, suddenly pack up and leave them. NOOOOOOOO!!!

so again, i have to implore and ask. what the hell is wrong with me? am i a classic case of a quarter life syndromey patient or am i just bored and need to get out? in need of good kissing perhaps? or a good old fashioned date or gossip session? i don't now!!!!somebody help me please!:p

Labels: aahhhhhh, bored, crazy princess, help, quarter-life crisis

sam