The Off Season

10:51 PM

When Jason left, I didn't feel like going out at all. It was as if the concept was no longer fun for me. I guess it was the timing of everything too, Christmas and its round of parties had just come and gone and everyone was sort of partied out.

Now, it's been 4 months or so, and I wonder if I have settled to the comfortable life of not really going out. I really don't ache to be somewhere, or anywhere than home on Friday and Saturday nights. I've become accepting and ok with the idea of going to bed at a decent hour. I sometimes miss the "thrill" of finding something fabulous to wear, but to be perfectly honest, not so much.

Don't get me wrong, I miss my friends, and the sometimes crazy events that transpire when everybody is about, and maybe just a little tipsy (on coffee) or more. It seems though that my crazy threshold has lowered significantly in the last months or so.As of late, I find myself content with a skype chat for catching up, and smiling over pictures of their latest rendezvous, genuinely happy for their good times, but being content with not having "joined in" at the same time.

I don't know if this is just me hibernating for the off season. Or if my seasons have been turned off permanently a.k.a I really am old.

These days, I'm happiest just traipsing around the house, gallivanting with my sisters, cousins and the rest of my sometimes crazy, but mostly normal family, and living through everyone else via their facebook pictures.

There really is nothing else left to see except we'll hafta see if this off season really does hold up, or if its just another long, albeit passing phase!

Labels: life, off season, talking to myself

sam

Taking the Plunge

9:55 PM

Back in University, there was one statement that was repeated over and over in all 12 units of Philosophy- :It was "Lundagin mo beybeh!" My memory is hazy, but I believe it was coined by Father Bulatao, a Jesuit and famous Philosophy teacher back in the day in ADMU.

What Father Bulatao meant was that in undertaking any experience, say swimming, you may research all you want, read the books all you want, but you will never ever grasp what swimming is in all its entirety if you don't jump in that water! Hence, the birth of "lundagin mo beybeh".

"Lundagin mo beybeh" has been on my mind because I find myself in a much similar situation. For weeks, I've toyed with this idea in my head. It got bigger and bigger, driven by the endless possibilities I've encountered from online, from television, and from the newspaper.An opportunity presented itself. I thought, and rethought and overly thought. Asked myself if I could do it, if I had enough strength and gusto to actually push through with it.

Then it hit me. I can theorize, and analyze. I can educate myself with the million sources of information about it, but i will never know if i don't jump in. I won't know if i was cut out for it if i don't actually do it.

And so, coupled with the faith the God would not really give me anything that I wouldn't be able to handle, and the argument that if nothing else, I will walk away from this experience with well, experience and some battle scars that will make me a stronger person, I went ahead and did it.Armed with my squirmish but still present guts and a prayer, Lumundag ako- I lept...

And now, it's sink or swim.

Labels: leap, lessons, life, reflections, school, talking to myself

sam

whatta day!!

2:23 PM

today, her royal highness, yours truly woke up amazingly early-5:30 am and went out into the world! i interviewed 2 people for a cover story, but not just 2 other people to the "showbiz" and the "die-hard"- i actually got to talk to heart and echo, (insert tee-hee here please", after that i had lunch with good friends and then got myself a good paying job!!!! wheeee! and its only 2:27! i better nap and see what else is in store..


i hafta say it! WHAT-TA DAY!!! :D

Labels: good day, happy princess, life, talking to myself

sam

the evil trade-off

4:05 PM

i've been trying to ward off the temptation of the frozen milo since sunday.i've prepared it, meaning shoved it in the freezer while it was merely a box of ordinary milo. it's frozen now.and it sat there taunting me.

i couldn't resist after the great day that i was having so far. i had to have it. so i struggled to open it.

in my struggle, i cut my hand from the knife, and broke a glass because of the excessive spoon action.

but i'm happily munching on my frozen milo, and using the cold to numb my aching hand.

i don't know if this is a fair trade-off.all i know is that calories are a bitch. and that literally, this frozen milo cost me blood, sweat and tears.

Labels: food, frozen milo, life

sam

how sam got her groove back

11:02 AM

after almost 6 months of inactivity, i finally joined a capoiera class yesterday. this is not a story of a triumphant return, rather its a funny recollection of how you may have plans of how one thing may go while life may choose to go on a completely different albeit funnier route.

i went to the class with my sister. now, she was a total beginner and no match to my "expert" skills (or so i thought haha). i was in the zone, i was grooving it. it seemed like i had not forgotten my moves after all. my form was still good.acceptable. i even quote my instructor as saying that it was "beautiful" at times. ahhhh, can you feel the head swell?!:p

and then it happened. i felt weird. i dashed off to get a drink of water. it did nothing to improve the weirdness. it was hot and cold at the same time. i felt like maybe my necklace, my top was choking me. i had to sit down.the world went spinning and black for a few moments and then my arms went numb and tingly.after that, a stomach pain comparable to dysmenorhea started. tiny came over. "you look really pale"she said, "rest".

so i rested. rested while the rest of the class grooved some more. rested while tiny made those killer handstand push-ups. rested while she was proclaimed "a natural" and called by her new capoiera name.

in the end, a combination of losing weight much too quickly, not having enough sugar in my body, low blood pressure, mvp and having my 1st day period did me in. i made attempts to get up and join back in, but the wave of dizziness was much to strong, and i opted to stay in my comfortable and stable fetal position instead.

and that was how sam got her groove back, capo style, and i suppose how tiny got her groove on too. this is not the end of me though. just you wait, maybe this thursday, i will make it through the entire class. my capoiera spirit lives again, fueled by a piece of candy and mcdonalds drive-thru that my sister forced me to take. you've gotta give it to life sometimes, and to sisters too :)

Labels: capoiera, groove, life, sisters, tiny

sam

how apt and on point

11:41 AM

i was talking to a friend about another friend's "problem" and at the same time i was perusing through another friend's fb account. it was there that i saw this. i swear, life hands you answers in the weirdest ways sometimes. also, it must be said that it made my heart melt a little, and got me thinking about my own guy :p...


Good advice:

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot. Who calls you back when you hang up on him. Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, " ...that's her."

Labels: friends, good advice, life

sam

possible twists

1:18 AM

an expected guest for dinner may have brought on an unexpected (albeit pleasant) twist to what i thought was my mundane, boring and planned out life for the next few months.

people who know me can attest that i am very very superstitious, and because i am so, i am holding back from divulging details to this possible twist because i am scared to death of jinxing the whole thing.

i am crossing my fingers. help me God.

but still the responsible side of me compels me to see through my old plans. so as for now, i must do my best to live the old path and the old plans. I guess I have a couple of things to submit on Monday then, hmmm..make that Tuesday.

again, help me God.

Labels: excited princess, life, plans, supersticious princess, twist

sam

the conclusion with c

11:05 PM

i had a realization today. i saw something online which has lead me to a or perhaps THE conclusion about c. I think our friendship is over. It is bittersweet; to be perfectly honest more bitter actually than sweet. i guess there is no turning back. if she doesn't care then why should i. i know it sounds childish but the reality is that if someone is not willing to invest in you, why should you exert effort in investing in that person. I am thankful though for our years of friendship. It was fun while it lasted. I'll miss her but I will find new friends as she will and has. We've started to live separate lives and I don't think there is a turning back. I guess that's it. Time to close the door on that.

Labels: bittersweet princess, c, life, moving on, over

sam