Isn't this the sweetest thing ever?

9:58 AM

It makes me want to cry!

Labels: awwww, beautiful, love, old people, sweet

sam

postsecret

10:02 PM

today is monday. postsecret day. or rather, was postsecret day. i read it without you. it didn't feel right :(

Labels: postsecret, talking to myself

sam

Easter

12:59 PM

Easter is supposedly the time for new things. a rebirth. shed the old, in with the new. it is representative of a new start, a new life...

i too have to get on with the new. like it or not. i loved my old life though. i loved what we had and shared. i didn't want to trade it in. not for a million bucks. not for anything.

but what if the life you love doesn't love you back anymore? what if the person you love doesn't love you the way he used to? no choice right? theres no use fighting if the one you're fighting for isn't there, or has given up, or doesn't want to fight for you anymore.

i didn't want to. i still don't want to.but i did and i have to.when you hurt tremendously and the other person is hurt tremendously, i think there is a point when it all has to stop. i don't want to hurt you anymore, please know that. and i will be honest and admit that i am still hurting.

may the easter bring you newer, better and brighter things. i will always wish the best for you, like i will always always love you. good luck and fly high...

easter is not without it's share of damages and booboo. rebirth is not without hurt and pain. i 'm broken now, like many easter eggs. but maybe someday, i will be new again.

Labels: broken, talking to myself, you

sam

A**hole!

11:08 AM

I know it's a Good Friday and I should well, be good. BUT I just have to get this out? Why are there so many a**holes online and in the world? People who enjoy goading you and bullying you and get extreme satisfaction to say they've done so. Arrggghhh...


To you- you're a grown man, you're 50ish and you've got 2 children and you claim to have many employees who look up to you, and that you delusionally think worship the ground you walk on, GROW UP and GET A LIFE!Stop being such an a-hole! Leave me alone, I'm making the best out of my week of rest and maybe you should too!


AMEN.

Labels: arrgghhhhh, rant

sam

Taking the Plunge

9:55 PM

Back in University, there was one statement that was repeated over and over in all 12 units of Philosophy- :It was "Lundagin mo beybeh!" My memory is hazy, but I believe it was coined by Father Bulatao, a Jesuit and famous Philosophy teacher back in the day in ADMU.

What Father Bulatao meant was that in undertaking any experience, say swimming, you may research all you want, read the books all you want, but you will never ever grasp what swimming is in all its entirety if you don't jump in that water! Hence, the birth of "lundagin mo beybeh".

"Lundagin mo beybeh" has been on my mind because I find myself in a much similar situation. For weeks, I've toyed with this idea in my head. It got bigger and bigger, driven by the endless possibilities I've encountered from online, from television, and from the newspaper.An opportunity presented itself. I thought, and rethought and overly thought. Asked myself if I could do it, if I had enough strength and gusto to actually push through with it.

Then it hit me. I can theorize, and analyze. I can educate myself with the million sources of information about it, but i will never know if i don't jump in. I won't know if i was cut out for it if i don't actually do it.

And so, coupled with the faith the God would not really give me anything that I wouldn't be able to handle, and the argument that if nothing else, I will walk away from this experience with well, experience and some battle scars that will make me a stronger person, I went ahead and did it.Armed with my squirmish but still present guts and a prayer, Lumundag ako- I lept...

And now, it's sink or swim.

Labels: leap, lessons, life, reflections, school, talking to myself

sam

Saw this on an fb wall..and it made me melt:)

6:51 PM

When she walks away from you mad
[ Follow her ]

When she stare's at your mouth
[ Kiss her ]

When she pushes you or hit's you
[ Grab her and dont let go ]

When she start's cussing at you
[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]

When she's quiet
[ Ask her whats wrong ]

When she ignore's you
[ Give her your attention ]

When she pull's away
[ Pull her back ]

When you see her at her worst
[ Tell her she's beautiful ]

When you see her start crying
[Just hold her and dont say a word ]

When you see her walking
[ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]

When she's scared
[ Protect her ]

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
[ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]

When she steal's your favorite hat
[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]

When she tease's you
[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]

When she doesnt answer for a long time
[ reassure her that everything is okay ]

When she look's at you with doubt
[ Back yourself up ]

When she say's that she like's you
[ she really does more than you could understand ]

When she grab's at your hands
[ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]

When she bump's into you
[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]

When she tell's you a secret
[ keep it safe and untold ]

When she looks at you in your eyes
[ dont look away until she does ]

When she misses you
[ she's hurting inside ]

When you break her heart
[ the pain never really goes away ]

When she says its over
[ she still wants you to be hers ]

When she repost this bulletin
[ she wants you to read it ]



- Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Tease her and let her tease you back.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

Labels: awwww, mushy princess

sam

Mission Impossible...Gulp

6:22 PM

And now ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I will attempt to do the impossible...Heaven help meeee!!!


More details when I have indeed achieved the impossible!Wish me luck and guidance and spunk too (not the smelly kind, but the gutsy kind please). AAAHHHH....

Labels: attempt, growing up, scared princess, talking to myself

sam

unfair.

10:23 PM

life's not fair and i absolutely hate it.

Labels: talking to myself

sam

the best high

9:04 PM

nothing beats exceeding someone's expectations. it gets even better when that someone is yourself. when you've set the bar up only this high (i'm making a hand gesture as high as my head) and you get to this high (now the hand is waaayyy over my head), its one great feeling. its what i call my "i can conquer the world" emotion.

i felt that today.i managed to finish this article that'd been eluding me for a time. i got the keynote presentation from my boyfriend (well, to give him credit, he was the one who worked at actually constructing the slideshow, i was merely the one giving my concept, and directional advice:p)-doesn't matter the presentation is still ready. i got a good email from this place that i part-time at.i'm finding time to write this entry. AND i got paid.:D

when you work your ass off, sure it's exhausting, but sometimes, it unleashes this better version of you that you can't help but be proud of. and today, i must admit that i'm proud of all that i managed to accomplish this past week. Yay for me :)

xoxo

P.S I'm documenting this emotion so I'll have something to look back on when I'm swamped with work this week and ready to tea my hair out..:p

Labels: happy princess, proud of me, talking to myself, work

sam

hallelujah for the weekend

12:35 AM

OMG- i haven't had a weekend in so long. correction- i haven't felt a weekend in soo long. the past year of bumming has had the days pass in a blur, everyday seemed like a weekend, with nothing really pressing to do. there wasn't really time off to take off from time off :P but a week of work has changed all that- the weekend lives again.

all week tasks seemed to pile up so fast that there didn't seem to be time to catch a breath. my mind's gone rusty too, as have my fingers, and i have to live with the constant frustration that these 2 facts constantly give me!the lack of blog posts this week can also be attributed for the constant state of business and my painstaking slowness at work! aaahhhh when will i become faster, stronger and better?!?!

there's a lot less drama this week which i like, but a whole lotta work where i stink my nose at. the necesarry evils of life. i cried on thursday night, because i was spent with words and typing and forums and submitting, but i was a brave little soldier the rest of time. poor jason had to live through hell.sorry baby and i am eternally grateful for all the help this week, well to be more accurate, all the help you give EVERY single day!

i've lost my train of thought..oh well, here's to the weekend! 2 glorious days of fun, freedom, waking up late, lying in, long conversations, qt with my cutie, possibly a movie, pigging out and just being! HALLELUJAH!!!!

Labels: boyfriends and girlfriends, grateful, jason, talking to myself, the weekend

sam

this weekend

12:01 AM

this weekend i cried buckets of tears. i let go of old dreams,and rearranged not so old ones.

this weekend, i was more honest to myself and my boyfriend than i have been in a long time, but i still continue to keep things hidden from the both of us.what things- i don't know

this weekend, my hopes were put out, rekindled, put out and rekindled again. sigh.

i won a little, lost a lot. loved a lot, lost a lot.cried a lot, and then won a lot. loved a lot.loved a lot. loved a lot.

i tried to write but i failed.

i gave up and then didn't.

i was okay and i wasn't too.

i'm glad it's over. i just want to be happy, and to not cry. no more drama please.

Labels: sad princess, talking to myself

sam

ready or not

11:55 PM

tomorrow, i start work. i don't know what to expect. i'm scared and feel more than a little helpless. plus, i've a bad case of writer's block- not a good thing if employment means a steady outpour of words. yikes.

i hope i get over it ASAP. i need this. for sydney.for may. for love. for my future as i know it.i need this bad.

Labels: scared princess, thinking aloud

sam