close call... ONE BIG FIGHT!!

7:02 PM

today was a day of close calls:

1.first, between me and the boyfriend- got into a huge fight, and on monthsary too. we almost almost called it quits but hey, true love is true love so we're still together

2.between my alma matter ateneo de manila university and bitter arch rivals la salle green archers (BOOOOOOOOOOOOO). we managed to squeeze by with 1(!!!) point. WHEW!!! i'm one ecstatic princess. I heart ATENEO and I heart CHRIS TIU! GO ATENEO! ONE BIG FIGHT!!! Till Sunday Archers!!! The BLUE EAGLES ARE LUV!!!!! WIN OR LOSE ITS THE SCHOOL WE CHOOSE!!!



Chris Tiu- the final minute hero of today's game!! ANIMO ATENEO!!!

btw, credit for the pic goes to fabilioh.com.

Labels: ateneo, basketball, blue eagles, boyfriends and girlfriends, chris tiu. i heart, close call, proud atenista, UAAP

sam

stuck in a rut

1:25 PM

what is it with me, that every so often i find myself stuck in a rut? i feel lethargic, bored with what i currently have and yet too lazy to muster up the strength to move. i've even stopped work for a bit, not even bothering to put up new pictures of dressies.i haven't been updating this blog as much too. these days i'm happiest being at home, lounging around, watching old movies,downloading new series, rereading my sister's old gossip girl books (yes, I confess. I LOVE THEM!), and of course perusing the internet.ahhh..the internet, what's a girl to do without it? my days while away switching between all the gossip sites to all sorts of blogs (my friends (please update for my sake:p), fashion blogs and even design ones). I am constantly on the lookout for new ones to stalk and dissect. The times not devoted to these are dedicated to good old ebay,where anything and everything can be found-and this ultimately leads to my growing list of "must-haves" and "needs"- as my boyfriend says "we all have needs, and shopping is mine!":p

and so without further ado, here are my latest "needs":

1. a lomo camera preferably a holga. (don't you just adore lomo photography? i am especially loco over the fish eye effect and the four lenses. there's something about the organic way the pictures come out that's so moving, unpredictable and just plain creative)
2.either a chanel bag and/or a goyard (aaahhhh..will this love/hate relationship between bags ang girls ever end? this one particularly takes me on an emotional rollercoaster (happy on the low starting bids, sad when it eventually gets higher and higher and i lose it to some unknown lucky bastard (hmmmm..anger issues surfacing:P))
3. lace underwear and lingerie. i'm channeling dita in my head when i imagine these pieces and i am, for the moment, ready to kill for a set by either agent provocateur, la perla or those lacy ones from good old reliable victoria's secret.
4.gray slouchy flat boots (again, another never ending obsession of mine). i honestly don't know where i'll be wearing them know, because the last time i checked, the philippines doesn't have fall/winter season just yet.
5. this is just in: coconut shampoo (preferably kiehl's). i was reading GG and it mentioned Kiehl's coconut shampoo and it just sounded sooo appealing and sexy. (i hope i can find this at the local grocery though)
6.Chocolate shampoo- the idea of chocolate without the calories is verrrryy inviting to this bored girl, and besides the search for coconut shampoo introduced me to this yummy alternative.
7.more gossip girl books- i've read all of the ones in the house and i am still hungry for more, so sue me!

for the love of God, i hope that I get out of this rut soon. This "stuck in a rut" state is depleting my (not to mention my boyfriend's) wallet. aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh...



p.s donations in cash or kind are highly welcome :p

Labels: bored, ebay, i want, shopping, stuck

sam

sad secrets

9:57 AM

i am in love with post secret. that has never ever been a secret in itself. in fact, it has become tradition for my boyfriend and i to put away some "us" time every monday night to see all the new secrets posted up. we dissect each secret as best we can, and try to figure out the people who live behind them. every once in a while, i come across secrets that break my heart. here are two:

"The only man i have ever loved was a guest at my wedding."

"I'm 25 and I've never been kissed. It's not that I don't want to...it's just that no one else does."


I hope to God I never end up with secrets like these. And i send out prayers to those who do...

Labels: baby, boyfriends and girlfriends, postsecret, sad princess, secrets, thoughtful princess

sam

Update 1:Project Pia

2:42 PM

I weighed in today since starting my "lifestyle" change about 2 weeks ago. YAAYYYYY. I lost 3 lbs. I was so happy to find out that i did because i didn't really suffer for it.

Also, I noticed that I eat WAAAYYYY less now, and get full much much sooner. another yay!

I love the way this thing is going.:D

I <3 project pia!!!

Labels: diet, happy princess, project pia, update, weight, weight loss

sam

forgiving and forgetting

4:26 PM

i seriously think i was sleeping under a rock when God decided to hand out the trait of "forgiving and forgetting" to the world.

i will be the first to admit it- i have trouble forgiving and forgetting. i hold grudges forever and actually find it easier to avoid/cut-out/ignore people that i have had misunderstandings with rather than hash it out. i don't know if it is because i don't have the patience, or because i know that both parties (mine included) will be scrambling to cover their asses anyway, so i don't know if anything "honest" will come out of the situation, or maybe it is because i am just afraid of the confrontation, or afraid to give a second chance and then be dashed again.

some examples-

back in 1st year high school, i was close to these 3 girls. one day i caught them talking smack about my dad, and that was it for me. when i remember these girls, that's the first thing that comes to my head. i remember the day so clearly too, what time it was, even my school bag that i was using. that was a very clear defining point for me, and i slowly drifted away from these girls and made new friends. no, i never confronted them, and looking back, i don't think i would still know what to say to them if i did.

2. same girls- 5 years later. one of them invited me to a party. at this point we were merely just friends from the same year rather than "barkada"-close circle of friends. i had a previous engagement (and this has to be said: which was way more appealing to me at that time), so i didn't go to the party. i didn't really think they would miss me anyway. months later, another friend casually asks if i had changed much because i had gone somewhere else to study. i said of course i haven't. she then said that there were these stories of me being too big for my britches, and it had stemmed because i hadn't showed up to that party. WTF? i had a previous engagement, i had refused politely thru text. again, another defining point. today, these girls are more acquaintances than friends. i try to avoid them. i'm scared of the niceties up front and then all the backstabbing later. strike 2 btw, no confrontation happened here either.

3. had a friend. i was loyal as a puppy to her, blind to all her flaws despite what others said. what happened? she left me high and dry. i think we had a phone conversation (of me very angry, i forget how she was), and that was the last time we ever talked. i erased phone numbers, texts, threw out memorabilia. i moved on, not stopping to think if it was worth a second chance.

i wonder if i was dropped as a baby or had a imprint leaving experience in my formative years that left me this way. i envy people who have no qualms about saying sorry, starting fresh, giving second chances, and being trusting another time around.

i wish i would budge a little. i tell myself i will when im older, but its here and i am older now, so where is that budge???

Labels: faults, flaws, forgiving and forgetting, sad princess, talking to myself, things i don't like about myself, thoughtful princess, ugly confession

sam

God signs

7:25 PM

Last night, after a sad conversation, I set my mind to break up with my boyfriend. Since he was sleeping, I decided to let him know in the morning. BUT then i thought and thought, and bounced back and forth, and then decided to let God decide. So i prayed, or rather asked for a sign. I said, "Please God, if i am meant to be with him, you will make him wear a white shirt tomorrow"

Why white you ask? No, i wasn't trying to take the easy way out. My boyfriend isn't really a typical boy when it comes to dressing. He does not have that classic no-fuss white shirt that all boys seem to have (well if he does I've never seen it). The wifebeaters that he wears around the house range from navy blue to black. I've given him white shirts before, as have my sisters, but he only seemed to don them to seem appreciative and so that we could see them, after that rarely have i seen him wear those again.


I woke up today to muffled sounds of a skype call. It was him, panicked if I had decided during the night to cut all ties. I turned on my video and he turned on his- WHITE. WHITE. The boy was wearing a white shirt, one with thin red stripes but still- WHITE.


I was not being very specific to God. I didn't really say a pure white shirt but just mentioned white. Majority of the relationship saving shirt is white. I guess this is a sign huh? God has a sense of humor too.


Oh, a minute later,I got a skype message, that sounded like a breakthrough and a possible solution to the sad conversation that Jason and I had the night before. God again? Hmmmmm..


And so, Jason and I are still together. Thanks God. I know I owe you more than one!


****


In other news, I'm sick! WAAAAHHHHH. If its not too much to ask the big guy up there... :D

Labels: baby, boyfriends and girlfriends, God, hmmm, jason, relationships, signs, thankful princess, white

sam

realizations over late night coffee..errr make that tea

7:07 PM

my most recent friday night was spent in the company of good friend cybill. we are old and boring (sorry cy:p)to the point that we skipped the club scene, but not old and boring enough to have spent it ignoring the call of "the friday" at home, so we reached a happy middle- tea and conversation at the nearest starbucks- i know, we're sooo thrilling like that :p

so go we did. we got semi dressed up (this means that we put on pretty dresses with comfortable shoes), i picked her up and we were off.

i relish these "sessions" with friends that are capable of jumping topics- from the shallow to the deeply profound, nothing is exempt and taboo. topics range from secret sluts, high school classmates that we have not thought about for ages, dissections of our latest adventures, boys, boyfriends, relationships,hair, and the classic "what-are-we-gonna-do-with-our-lives"

this session was no exception. all of the above, and more, were covered over earl grey and mint, and a donut and a chocolate chip cookie, respectively. and as usual, this session has left me with lots to think about, which i will list so i can ponder with more organization later on:

1. i think i am open to the idea of going to school again,or educating myself more through work experience.

2. i may have reached a point of maturity wherein i may not mind putting myself in a difficult and challenging situation so that i will be able to learn more.

3. is it really true that i do not have bad girl/wild child inclinations? boo.

4.i am in the real world now, one where costs and other expenses need to be faced, and where loans are scary but necessary.

5. i am with a very very very good guy. (one that i horribly abuse, and might not even deserve:p)

6. i am a grown up. and that is scary.


it feels good to get these realizations, thoughts and whatnot out there. while acknowledging them may not automatically solve them, discussions about these concerns make them seem approachable, palpable and solvable. these are big steps, i know, and though i may have to tread on them carefully, i am assured that these sessions are little tip toes towards action.

i may have not solved anything big or realized something great on this particular friday night. but i am comforted that there will be more fridays, more cups of tea, more donuts and cookies and certainly good friends like cy for when i do.

Labels: conversations, fridays, friends, realizations, tea, thoughtful princess

sam

possible twists

1:18 AM

an expected guest for dinner may have brought on an unexpected (albeit pleasant) twist to what i thought was my mundane, boring and planned out life for the next few months.

people who know me can attest that i am very very superstitious, and because i am so, i am holding back from divulging details to this possible twist because i am scared to death of jinxing the whole thing.

i am crossing my fingers. help me God.

but still the responsible side of me compels me to see through my old plans. so as for now, i must do my best to live the old path and the old plans. I guess I have a couple of things to submit on Monday then, hmmm..make that Tuesday.

again, help me God.

Labels: excited princess, life, plans, supersticious princess, twist

sam